coming of age

The Ugly Duckling

Lying in bed waiting for my painkillers to kick in and I remember back to Halloween last year and a conversation I had with a guy I knew from secondary school; we were in the same form group from year 8 to year 11.  

I’ve spoken before about how I was bullied for being a greebo and a goth and for standing out from the crowd, so this will come as no surprise that I wasn’t the most popular girl when it came to the boys; I plucked up the courage to ask the really gorgeous and popular lad I fancied (not the guy from Halloween) to the year 11 Prom and was brutally rebuffed – cue the sad violins!

Anyway, the conversation with this other guy is on Halloween so obviously we’ve all been drinking and we lose our inhibitions slightly! I don’t normally shout after people I recognise but after a drink I get a little bit brave. The conversation goes as follows… I ask him if he recognises me and he says yes! We exchange the usual how are yous and then he says in a coy voice that he used to fancy me at school! 

I bet you’re thinking ‘Awww how sweet’ aren’t you? So did I… Until he finishes with ‘but I couldn’t tell anyone or I would have been bullied……..’

The poor guy has a crush on a girl in secondary school but he can’t tell anyone or he would be bullied for liking someone like me. Where’s the sense in that?!

I don’t really know how I feel about this little anecdote. I don’t know if I should feel proud for being myself and being fancied for it or sad that someone would have been bullied if they had a crush on me. 

I know I went through an awkward, gawky phase but listen up kids, that phase is exactly that; a phase. 

Since leaving high school I’ve done so many things with my life; I’ve run my own business, I’ve trained as a body piercer and I was signed to a modelling agency and am a published model!

So there you go… The ugly duckling did indeed turn into a swan and all those lads in high school can go suck it! 

Note: I have no ill feelings towards the guy who I spoke to in the pub on Halloween. I’m glad he told me he had a crush on me back in the day – my years in secondary school weren’t the best ones, so it’s nice to know someone had a crush on me back then, so thank you x

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